What Makes a Honeymoon Registry Tacky, and a Regular Registry Not?

I’ve seen alot of questions about honeymoon registries being really tacky, yet a list of specific gifts regardless of price isn’t?

Thanks!

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Tagged as: alot, honeymoon, honeymoon registries, honeymoon registry, price, Registry, specific gifts, Tacky

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

i don’t think honeymoon registry are tacky, not all brides and grooms need pots and pans and those type things you find on normal bridal registry.

this way the bride and groom can take the money the guest would have spent on a gift anyway that they may not want or need and use it towards something they do want.

if it was tacky it wouldn’t be as big a thing as it is.

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

Well, strictly speaking, old school etiquette probably would not support a regular registry, either. However, IMO, most people do not want to pay for a couple to go on a honeymoon. They want to give them a gift that the couple can use in their real life. Additionally, many people view honeymoon registries as essentially asking for cash, which is a no no.

As for the price issue, we had gifts of all prices on our registry and were advised to do so. Some people spend more than you think and some people pitch in to buy you things.

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

In my eyes there’s very little difference between asking for the “pots and pans” that most couples ask for, and asking for money (or a honeymoon registry). I can understand that some people want to give something that lasts and can be used but the truth is that if the couple doesn’t want gifts then the gifts that they do get won’t be used. In previous decades it might have been “bad manners” to ask for money but I think that times have changed and so long as you don’t specify amounts it’s fine. And if the guests don’t want to give any money then they don’t have to, same as with giving a gift – it’s not mandatory.

We were emigrating shortly after our weddings so we didn’t want gifts since it would be too expensive to ship (plus the different plugs on the electronics would have been annoying to replace) so we asked for money instead and nobody was offended.

But what some people did do is help pay for things, my brother paid for the DJ and my sister compiled an unofficial album of all the photo’s my friends took and things like that which were really great.

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

I have never seen honeymoon registries as tacky and neither have big names in etiquette like Miss Manners or Dear Prudence.

What is seen by tacky in most circles is asking for money directly. It should be the guest’s choice.

Good luck :)

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

I do not see honeymoon registries as being tacky. I am doing a honeymoon registry and this is because I have lived with my fiance for almost 4 years. We don’t need the typical stuff. We paid for our honeymoon in full, which is a cruise. The registry is to pay for things such as a couples massage, the excursions at the ports, drinks by the pool, etc.

Plus a registry, no matter what type, is just a suggestion. It is not mandatory for the guests to use the registry. If anyone is not comfortable using my honeymoon registry, that is completely fine. But I think my family and friends will think that it is great that they could give us a unique gift like a massage to make our honeymoon that much more special.

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

I understand why people find it offensive. A honeymoon is the kind of thing you really should pay for yourself. It does look like a sneaky way of asking for money. Whereas a regular registry is for household things that fall under a more “useful” category.

However, I am big on treating myself and having little luxuries in life. So if the couple had a honeymoon registry that was strictly add-ons (not airfare, food, or hotel fees) like a balloon ride or massages, I would definitely consider that. Because those are the kind of things I would treat myself to.

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

Traditionally, a wedding gift is intended to help set up a household for the new couple, that’s why amongst traditional wedding gifts are kitchen appliances, linens and other household necesities.

A honeymoon is not a necesity and is not the responsability of the guests, it is the groom’s or the couple’s, no one elses.

Couple’s should not expect or rely of the pocketbook of guests for extravangances. I have never been a fan of asking for anything.

Good luck

September 17, 2011 at 15:04

Any registry is tacky when the information is included with the invitations. Register wherever you wish, but spread the information by word of mouth. Don’t put gift requests on the invite, because then your guests feel they’re just being invited for the gifts that they’ll bring.

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